Hey there Readers,

I had such a great day!  Not only did I get to sleep in four hours, I swam, watched movies, and I have almost officially quit McDonalds.  Now shh!  It’s not official!  But hopefully soon it will be.  Or at least I’ll be on-call or something.  I’m going to start nannying full-time now.  Talk about a whoop! whoop!

So today it’s about how I am different from someone in history.  You see, as great a person as Franklin was, I couldn’t seem to catch up.  Actually, I wouldn’t let myself catch up.  Being scared is such a foolish thing.  It slows you down from being yourself, it takes you away from being the best you can be, and it hurts you, mentally and physically.  Now that I know that, I hate being scared.  Being scared scares me!  The only thing(s) that I’ll allow myself to be "scared" of are bugs; mainly spiders and butterflies.

B e n j a m i n   F r a n k l i n

He edited the Declaration

of Independence to best

represent the people of the

time.  He wanted them to

understand what they were

fighting for, while

threatening the British with

strong words.  All who knew

him looked him up to his great

example.  Not only was he

intelligent and invented many

different devices, he was clever

and wise.  This allowed so much

creativity to flow through his mind.

A m a n d a   W e b b

I never noticed this then,

but I allowed myself to step

behind my friends and

leaders.  I allowed them

to approve of everything I

did.  It wasn’t that I needed

their approval, but I feared

moving ahead of them in case

I might trip and no one was 


there to catch me.  I stopped

myself from growing spiritually

and mentally.  I stayed just

behind the smartest people so I

wouldn’t be noticed.  When I

messed up, I wasn’t the first. 

The whole situation gave me the

peace of mind I thought I was

looking for.

FFN (Future Family Note)

Do your best to teach your kids not to be scared to do something new.  Stand out and be different because being different might just be the better thing to be.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALDUYnpFuzQ

Hello Readers!

I always wanted to be a musician of some sort.  I wanted to be on stage and sing and dance.  The Lizzie McGuire movie was my inspiration.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-s7ol38Ifs 

But then again, what ten year-old doesn’t want to be the same thing?   It’s all about being the best and the greatest and I found that of myself (more or less) a different way.

I also forgot to mention that the people I chose to relate myself to are some of my favorite people in history.  There is just one catch: I chose Hitler for something.  Now before you are quick to judge, allow me to explain…when I post about him.

Johann Sebastian Bach

He felt the tasks he was assigned to complete took away from his composing time and artistic abilities.  The Church bored him.  Assigned to be a teacher and it was really frustrating to him to teach the less talented.  He even had a quarrel with one student over the matter.  He sided with Martin Luther in that music was to uplift the soul and bring a man closer to finding God.  He would take simple Hymns and though the words would be directly telling you what the composer wanted you to know, Bach was able to show forth God’s mighty and power through the music.

Amanda Michelle Webb

As I grew up, I began playing the Clarinet.  It wasn’t an official class during the day, so I was excused from class for one hour to have a lesson in the teachers break room.  My teacher was fantastic and it was quite clear she was good, but she held back on all of the students.  She taught us as slow as the slowest student.  At first, I didn’t mind.  But when I began teaching myself how to play, I began to be frustrated.  I believed music was a way to express yourself and praise God, but I didn’t know how I could properly do that if I wasn’t properly being taught.

Dear Readers,

My life story will begin at Machiavelli.

Niccolo Machiavelli

He wrote The Prince,

which focused on

“Absolute rule by one

authority.”  He believed

that the Prince’s divine

right was to rule and

no one could stop him.

It was his responsibility

to care and govern for

the people whatever the

circumstances.   He

believed everyone should

feel the same way and

know the same truth, so

he wrote his book.  After

time, Machiavelli lost

favor with the Medici

family who was his basis

for his book.

How I compare:

Amanda Webb

I began my life with

the idea that my parents

knew what was best for me;

therefore, they would always do

what was best for me.  When

I had school projects, they

always did the most work

and then approved them.  

They made sure my homework

always got done and they

always checked it.  They pushed

me to achieve in activity

days, always getting all the

awards I could.  I stood in

the background of my life

and was content in staying there.

Dear Readers,

I want to take you on a journey of my life.  It is long and it won’t entirely make sense.  But this journey might make you think about your life.  Who are you?  Why are you the way you are?  I have these answers and the answers came so unexpectedly that I wanted to share my experience with all of you. 

Going through everything will take more than one post.  Please, stick around and read.  If it’s not an eye-opener to you perhaps it will at least entertain.

The way I am going about this story is through history.  These past two semesters at Brigham Young University I took a history class.  Oh how I love this class!!  Not only was it about history, it was about the creativity of history!  The creativity of the people in history!  It was wonderful!  At the end of every semester, we did a final project.  You had to incorporate something in the time period we had studied.  For example, the first semester went from the beginning of time to 1500AD.  The second semester went from 1500AD to the present.

These following posts all come from the project I created for my second semester final project.

It begins with an explanatory paper:

I always wanted to understand me.  For how often I talk to myself in my head, I could never seem to grasp what was being said up there.  I wanted so badly to know who I was and where I was going, but I never had the guts to try and figure it out.  I wanted to be that girl who was crazy and loud just so I would know at least pretend to know what I was doing.  I seem to understand why a girl may talk only about herself, but I can never figure out why I stayed quiet when so much was happening inside of me.

Today, as I look through history and find correlation after correlation in the countries of Europe and in the people who lead.  I wonder what they were thinking.  Why would anyone choose to murder millions of people just because they believed something differently?  Why write something so moving that the paper convinces everyone in the country to take the papers proclaiming side?  Why put the country you love over yourself? 

In order to understand, I took a few people, briefly outlined what they are known for, and then took my experiences and connected the dots.  I analyzed my life, every detail that I can remember of how I came to be who I am today. 

So, who am I?  I am a girl who struggled with finding where I fit in in all of this.  Instead of searching for that spot with my name written boldly on it, I allowed my parents, my teachers, and even those I didn’t know place me where they thought I was supposed to be.  They can’t see my name, so how in the world were they to know how wrong they were?  I had to step up and say “No.  My name is not here on this spot.  But I will search high and low for where it is and I will claim it loud and proud.” 

I can’t say I haven’t found my name because I have.  I just know that I can say I haven’t sat down yet.  I’m still searching for understanding of why it is so far from where I had been placed only one year ago.  I still heed the counsel of those who wrongly placed me; I still long for someone to tell me what to do.  But who am I to move my name, imperfect as I am, I could never put it in the right spot alone.

This project was almost entirely for my benefit.  It gave me time to sit down and finally come to the conclusion that I know who I am.  I may have struggled in the past, but here and now in the present, I am not struggling what so ever.   In order to be creative, one must first have a reason to be creative.  For me, there was nothing to encourage creativity.  My wronged thought process kept telling me that there was nothing in the world that has already been done.  Nothing new can come to pass.  Oh how wrong I was! 

In gaining an understanding of why creativity helps a person grow and be better, I no longer can go a second of my day without wanting to add some creativity to it.  I am grateful I was able to learn the importance of creativity without spending too much of my life in the dark. 

Not only did I use my poorest skills to create something, I did the unthinkable for me.  I admitted to myself what has really been going on in my life.  Why I chose to stand in the shadows when I was being beckoned to light – this question has finally been answered.  And in a way that is beyond comparison. 

The scrapbook is a representation of my life in a story.  To make it easier to understand, I briefly showed those in history who have had similar experiences or in one case, I differed so greatly from.  I took my motifs and compared them to these historical people’s motifs and learned that maybe I was consciously thinking one thing and subconsciously thinking another.  These are all just brainstorming ideas but that have helped me look at everything I do and ask…why?

“Normality is a fine ideal for those who have no imagination.” – Carl Jung

“Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Einstein

“The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” – Alan Kay

“We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about.”

– Einstein

“God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily.” – Unknown

“There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to theorize, a part that wants to sculpt, a part that wants to teach…. To force myself into a single role, to decide to be just one thing in life, would kill off large parts of me.” – H. Prather

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise.  The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”  ~Sylvia Plath

“I try to leave out the parts that people skip.”  ~Elmore Leonard

Oh Readers,

What a thought!  I can only express what I see and I must warn you, what I see is a very scary sight indeed. 

The family is being cruelly ripped apart.  Limb by limb, bone by bone until there is nothing left but bitter ashes; piles and piles of bitter, sad, lonely ashes.  I dearly hope that those of you lovely readers reading this unfortunate post have not been faced with such a trial.  But if so, can you not agree?  In the end, can you not agree?

It always begins on a scary night when the devil roams free.  One wondering individual seeks out who he or she is.  They feel lost and hopeless.  He seeks them out – the weak, and takes them under his wing with the promise of reward and pleasure. 

Forget what you have been taught, what you have learned, and most importantly, forget what you have felt, he tells them.  You are not having fun; you are miserable and sad.  There is only one way to fix such loneliness.  

And he proceeds to drag them farther and farther away from the beautiful life they have created with another. 

The happiness once shared amongst couples has now faded into gray and any thought of color seems to be over looked as if just another trial passing them by.  The world outside the home is entirely a new playground waiting to be played on.  There are no rules, no curfews, and certainly nothing to stop them.  No longer do the children bring joy to the soul of the one being carried away.  Nothing those wonderful kids do will stop the devil from taking the parent(s) if they are not willing to change.

Not only can I imagine this scenario but also I am faced with it.  My experience is less dramatic and not entirely to tale with the described above, but something of the sort is happening nonetheless.  I see the change the devil has brought though the circumstances under which the adult is faced are not quite clear.  Who knows what has really been going on but the Lord.  Even the devil doesn’t know.  Why?  Because as he is taking the soul away, he refuses to see the good of the soul and creates the bad of it.  Every story rolls together, that’s why this story seems so familiar; it’s what always happens.  Though none can blame them when they lived such a wonderful life to be just giving up all hope that anything would ever change.

But I come bearing good news!  It is not all dark and dreary in such a married life.  Spark can still be found in the simplest of places.  Colors don’t need to fade if only the couple remembers to bring their crayons.  Find the hope that lies within each heart that love is more than just a temporary state of feeling.  Love lasts longer than both you and I can comprehend.  It fills time with meaning and understanding.  It takes all of those hard times and finds the lesson to be learned.  It keeps an aging couple strong.

FFN (Future Family Note)

Don’t give up so easily.  The work is always worth the prize.

**Gordon B. Hinckley

There cannot be peace where there is not trust; there cannot be freedom where there is not loyalty (Conference Report, Oct. 1970, 66).

A happy marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion (Ensign, May 1991).

Marriage, in its truest sense, is a partnership of equals, with neither exercising dominion over the other, but, rather, with each encouraging and assisting the other in whatever responsibilities and aspirations he or she might have (Ensign, Aug. 1992, 6).

Reader Darlings,

This is more than just your normal post.  Lucky you for today it’s all about my job!  Well, I have two of them actually but I really just want to focus on one of them today.  Take a guess.  I work from 6am to 2pm.  You can find me smelling like food afterwards.  And if you have never seen me there…good for you!  I work at the one, the only MICKEY D’S!  More commonly known as McDonalds. 

Just a quick overview of that job.  It’s easy and fun for me.  I was looking everywhere for a job when I turned 16 avoiding that particular store because I knew all the drama that took place amongst the workers.  It’s like all of my high schools band got a job there!  And even though I was part of the band, everyone worked there and I personally wanted to stay out.

I walked in one Friday with the feeling “please don’t hire me!”  and what did I get?  Can you come in Tuesday?

No. I wanted to say.

Yes.  I really said.

Why?  I asked myself.

How?  I asked the manager.

Because I can tell by your appearance that you will work hard and you’re trustworthy.

Wow.  My moms pants sure showed a lot.

I now love that stinky place regardless the insanely awful hours they have me working Monday through Friday.

The other job, on a brighter note, is a job that so many women already have.  They don’t get paid for what they do.  And their biggest reward may come immediately when a child says I Love You or many years in passing when a teen says I Love You.  And what ever the scenario, the mother still feels like the luckiest mother in the world.  But there are many rewards and I wouldn’t want to start there.  Let us start at the very beginning.  A very good place to start (name that movie!).

I don’t know what it’s like giving birth to a child and I sure as anything won’t be knowing any time soon.  I have never woken up in the middle of the night to soothe a crying baby.  My boobs don’t lactate or throb and I have a period every month.

I do know some stuff though. 

§  Don’t ever think a child of one will miss the left over dinner spilled on the floor.  He or she wouldn’t miss putting it in the mouth for anything.  Respectfully, an ominous one.

§  Fits and tantrums were invented by a two year old.  Don’t misunderstand their ingenious.  Respectfully, a terrible two.

§  When a child of the age of three just wakes up from a nap, don’t expect him or her to immediately rush to your arms (if you are not the parent).  It is nothing personal.   Respectfully, a thrifty three.

§  A child of four is just learning to say full sentences and tell you exactly what they think of your (wonderful) cooking.  They are not afraid to speak their mind.  Respectfully, a fearsome four.

§  Starting school and being on their own is what a five year old is best at.  Don’t let surprise catch up with you when he or she says he or she is ready to move out.  Respectfully, a funny five.

The ages I nanny end their.  But my knowledge of these wonderful little monsters will never cease to end.  Just like my dad loves to say, “In heaven, time is no matter of element.  There is no beginning or end.  Then how do we learn?  How will we always keep learning?  If God became a god the way we all will become gods, who was His God?  And His God before that? And before that?  And so on…?”  Thanks dad…for that never ending question that keeps me, Missionaries, and new Members on their toes!

FFN (Future Family Note)

Allow your children to teach YOU.  For if there is no learning on your part, how will you ever keep up with new and enhanced brains of today and future children?  Because yes, God has made them smarter than us.

The end.  The rewards.  Let’s just say that the reward comes in and of itself.

Here is the Menu Readers

(if I truly admit what I ate today, y’all would be ashamed of this so-called “chef”)

Breakfast – smoothie with mixed berries, milk, berry blast V8 juice, yogurt, and ice

Lunch – pb&j man! A classic.

Snack – zero, zilch, NONE!

Dinner – Mama’s Pizza (a real restaurant)

Dessert – hm. I skipped it today. Sad. But if I hadn’t it would have been vanilla ice cream!!

When Little sister becomes Big Sister

 baby k!

 notice how we are NOT looking at the camera? couldn't figure out how to take a picture..

Lovely Readers,

I cannot, in any words, describe to you what it feels like to be big amongst the little.  I mean this in many different ways:

1.     Age.  Tonight at the Mutual activity, all the girls were combined and they pampered little sisters.  My sister, baby k, is the baby sister so they allowed me to come join the festivities.  So, I was literally the oldest amongst all the girls – and all the little sisters. 

*Side Note:  The big sisters did our makeup, hair, and nails.  Some little girls looked gorgeous.  Others…well, teens like to pick on their siblings, am I right?*

2.     Maturity.  However much I may adore the girls, it is true that when it comes down to little groupies of peoples, I choose to hang with the leaders.  It’s clearly much easier to talk to them while the girlies talk boys, school, and gossip. 

Now let me clarify something.  No, I was not the tallest of any of the girlies by a long shot.  In fact, the only girls I was taller than were the little sisters – who were mostly eight and younger so…

I must admit, pampering is hard and I don’t like pampering myself.  But I love being pampered.

So I said I can’t describe in words, well what I really meant was that after 19 years of being the oldest, being the youngest tonight was a treat indeed.  Instead of being in charge, I watched the big sisters control the crowd.  Instead of worrying about the girls participating, I watched the leaders keep them involved by talking to them.  Nothing was my responsibility tonight.

Maybe that’s why parents get so stressed out…

FFN (Future Family Note)

Be understanding to a stressful day of stressed-out children.

Here is the Menu Readers

Breakfast                    Lunch                         Snack              Dinner                 Dessert   (:

Low-fat peach            BBQ Chicken              Popcorn          Shhh!              McD Cookie!

Yogurt                       roll-up with                                     (Chik-fil-a)

                                    Green sauce